Be there… be involved
With your help, she will recover…
Postpartum mood disorders are a treatable illness that affects the entire family. As a family member, there are many things that you can do to make this very difficult time easier for mom. Following is a list of suggestions that may help you feel useful, needed, and involved:
- Allow mom to openly express her feelings. Accept her need to cry
- Ask mom how you can help her in the best way. Suggestions that might be given may include providing meals, doing laundry and housework, running errands and babysitting so that she can have a break
- Encourage mom to find a compassionate health professional to talk to. Offer to go with her to her appointment for added support
- Educate yourself about postpartum mood disorders
- Be patient. You may need to talk to someone for support
What Does NOT Help:
- Criticizing or judging makes mom feel guilty and ashamed, it’s not her fault
- Denying her problem by saying “You should be happy to have this baby” will not make it go away, it will only make mom feel worse about the situation
- Telling mom to “snap out of it” will also make mom feel worse. If she could “snap out of it”, she definitely would. Postpartum mood disorders are definitely not due to lack of mental strength
- Withdrawing your support will only make mom feel rejected, she needs to know that you accept her no matter what happens
- Do not tell her what to feel and what not to feel, she needs you to accept and validate her feelings